I cannot understand myself anymore. I was wishing for it for the past years, and now its happening. Well, I’m not yet entirely sure but i feel that it would lead there. The opportunity is there- the gates are open, but it’s me who is closing. I realized that I’m more suspicious than i know- maybe because of the mistake i did 2 years before. And yes, It’s a happy, flattering, and confusing feeling at the same time.
Maybe because it rarely happens to me. Or because I’m not that confident about myself, most especially about my appearance. Or maybe because my introversion swell upon me, big time.
Or maybe the feeling is not sincere. Because it just happened- without any accurate reason and it happened so quickly, like in a snap, boom ! It’s not cut out for me.
I realized that, yes, I’m still young and I there’s a lot of things that i need to know before that. And i realized that, what i feel, is not long lasting, but a merely attraction. And guess what ? I’m glad i did.
And lastly, it doesn’t mean that i would close my doors to possibilities. Yes, I’m open about it, but maybe not right now. See, I’m still in a messy situation and you know, i just want to chill for awhile.
Well, i won’t be stressed about it, but honestly, somehow it made me smile.