To be honest, I’m really a sensitive person. I may be cool and calm on the outside, but emotional on the inside- and i hate it sometimes. It prevents me from doing out of the ordinary and taking risks. It makes me illogical and nonsense. And what happened recently, had somehow changed a part of me.
I realized that doing thesis and OJT is really difficult. Everything turned out unexpected, and what i avoid most in my life- is now happening to me. I hate statistics, and now my thesis is an example of a Quantitative design. I hate works that involves numbers and full of responsibility – and now I’m assigned at Payroll in my OJT. Ignorance and laziness took over me again and had left a mark that I won’t surely forget.
I thought everything is fine, i became too comfortable – that’s what, until my supervisor in my OJT gave me a feedback, but more of a warning for me; that i should become more pro active and more responsible in my work, because life in the corporate world is a lot more different from my OJT. I absorbed all of it but I didn’t expect that it would blow a weak spot of mine that brought me to tears afterwards. Yeah, i know i should make it as a motivation- but that time, i really felt down. I remembered all those mistakes that I had done in the past, and the feeling of worthlessness enveloped me again.
Thanks to my parents, all of it changed. I realized that this criticism- not only this, but also that will come in the future, must motivate me, instead of letting me down. And I must be happy that my supervisor is concerned of my behavior, that she wants me to do well. And these hardships- many more will come. I’m lucky that as early as now, I’m now trained to these kind of situations so that in the future, I’ll be ready.
I hope that all of the efforts that I’ve done for this last sem and last year of my school life would worth it. I hope so. One thing I’m sure- I won’t ever, ever give up.