For the past 2 years, ever since I graduated from college, i haven’t found a true friend yet in the workplace. I thought that when you start chatting with someone, laughed on silly things and even go out for lunch, that someone becomes your friend, but no. Yes, i chat with them, I even laugh with them sometimes and share some tiny bits of my life but it feels empty. I’ve felt alone in a crowd before and I used to cry about it but now, I know its weird but i feel happy. Maybe because I’ve been used to it, but more than that, I feel comfortable when I’m alone. I mean no drama, no harsh judgement from others and just being myself. I thought that I won’t be strong enough to be alone but now, I’m so proud of myself that I can do things just by myself without being uncomfortable.
It does not mean that I’m antisocial or whatsoever, it’s just that I’m in a wrong place full of people I can’t relate to. Instead of trying to fit in, I decided to just be myself and i never regretted it. Yes, it can be lonely but i easily forget it when I think about my family waiting for me at home, or my friends who are missing me. I think this is a part of maturity, that I can stand alone and do what I wanted to do, not for anyone but for myself. I know that I won’t stay there forever and maybe this is just a phase of life that I need to pass- to be independent. It’s challenging yet I’ve learned many new things about myself, and i think that’s what matters to me right now.
– It’s easy to stand with the crowd, but it takes courage to stand alone.