Lost in the dark.

My corporate life has been a mess in the past 2 years and these past week made me realized what huge mess I’ve done in my workplace.

I opened up about my feelings to some office mates and my boss, that from the start i didn’t like my job, and that I was just forced to work because of my parents- they want me to be a corporate employee like them. And surprisingly, they are aware that i don’t like my job whereas i thought they don’t give a single fuck about me. As expected, my boss is disappointed at me and i don’t blame him. Everything he said to me was right. That I was unfair to myself and also to them. They love their job, they give their 100% in their work while I’m not, because I don’t like my job. And that passion comes out naturally and you can’t force yourself for loving something you don’t want.

That’s when I realize that I’m really, really fucked up and I almost gave up.

But I didn’t.

I’m still fighting. What’s done is done. This time, this is now all about myself. There’s no time no cry, to lose hope. I know that i cannot make up for those mistakes but we can start again right? My boss even advised me that my 30-day suspension would be my time to apply for another job that I will truly enjoy- no matter how difficult it is. From that, I felt relieved. There’s still hope and the game is not yet over.

It’s time to stand up, self. Β This will be all over soon.

Stars can’t shine without darkness.

– D.H Sidebottom

7 years and counting.

Just want to tell you guys that I’ve been blogging for 7 years already! Time flies really quickly and I know that this blog is a witness of the many crazy changes in my life and on how i post too πŸ™‚

Last night, i back read on my blog posts and i teared up on some parts (not kidding!) because i began to miss my teenage life a.k.a the golden years of my life. My posts back then seem hopeless, i mean i thought i would never graduate and here I am, working for almost 2 years already. I also laughed on my posts about my puppy-love crushes and I cringed in some parts because I was so cheesy back then. (ewww) haha old self y so stupid πŸ˜›

I think what makes this blog important is because almost all my memories are stored here and my past posts inspire me to continue and be hopeful of the future. I never realized that I’ve accomplished so much in life, thanks to this blog that recorded almost every happenings of my life, from daily rants to social issues, and of course unforgettable memories w/ my loved ones.

So here’s to more blogging years for me! Happy 7th, WonderCrizel πŸ™‚